Psalm 27:4 "One thing have I desired; that will I seek after. That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."

Posts tagged ‘trust’

Not the Update I Wanted

We have been so busy lately.  This past weekend was the first one I’ve spent at home all month – the first weekend without a horse show.  It was fun, but I was ready for being home.  I have pictures and they are awesome and stories and they are amazing!  And I wanted to post them today!

But today didn’t turn out to be a happy blogging kind of day.

We finished lambing season with 7 babies: twins, two singles and triplets.  The twins have been on bottles and of course we got attached to them.  Yesterday Tipsy wasn’t taking his bottles and was getting bloated.  We took him to the vet for an ultrasound that showed some gas, but not intestinal blockage.  He took some half bottles, but still didn’t poop.  Another ultrasound and the gas and build up were very obvious.  Something was blocking his ability to poop.  The choices were surgery or sleep.  We had to put him down.  It was so hard.  It’s been two years since we lost a lamb and we thought we had cleared the hurdles this year.  It’s been tough.  Kristen has shed so many tears today.  Her friends have been the greatest and so encouraging and supportive.  Little Tina is a bit lost without her brother.  I’m hoping that she’ll get into the pen with the other sheep and cuddle up with Daisy’s baby, Misty.

I’ll try to get the horse show pictures together (most of them are on my phone) this week.  Next week is spring break, but I’m booked for half of it with Kurt’s birthday and the Midwest Homeschool Convention.

As I encouraged Kristen this afternoon, she had plenty of ‘whys’ running around inside of her.  It’s so easy to ask why.   Why him?  Why us again?  What did he do, he’s just a baby?  Why would God let this happen?  I honestly had such peace today.  I haven’t cried a single tear.  I had to encourage Kristen to just keep trusting God.  We don’t understand how this could possible work together for good.  We don’t see His big picture.  If it hurt us so much to see an innocent animal suffer and die, how must it break God’s heart when an innocent child is ripped from its mother’s womb – the place He created to knit that child together?

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  ALL of God’s creation is fearfully and wonderfully made.  We have been given such a privilege to love His creatures, to nurture and care and steward His creation.  I am so blessed to love these animals.  I am so blessed to love my children.

Thanks for listening to our happenings and my reflections.

Trying to Let Go

I’m sitting here at 11:30pm trying to let go of all of the “stuff” on my mind – not to mention suffering some heartburn from a wonderful pork chop dinner.

We were at our local resale shop today and I overheard that they might need some help which got me thinking that maybe it would help us get some bills paid if I got a part-time job. Maybe two days a week. I emailed my Mom and a couple of trusted friends to pray for me over the next week and as soon as I hit “send” I started looking at all of the reasons I shouldn’t. I’m supposed to be homeschooling my kids! I know that a lot of homeschool families have a Mom that works, so it is doable. The girls immediately freak out about how much other stuff I have to do (um, when’s the last time I actually DID dust the house?) I started looking at dr. appts. & orthodontist appts. and how would I stay on top of things?  Would it overwhelm me now that I’m starting to have more energy and am feeling better?  Would it be more trouble then anticipated – like Lexi?  (Oh, I love that dog, but she is a disobedient handful!  And she barks the world awake in the morning talking to her echo – we have the neighborhood nuisance dog).

So, needless to say, I’ve put myself in some turmoil and I haven’t even turned in an application!

And I’ve really been struggling lately to have my quiet time and have it be of any quality. I sit down and read and try to pray for family and friends that are sick or have a special need. More times than not, my circle of prayer stops there and I don’t spend any time praying for persecuted Christians, our soldiers involved in wars in the Middle East, our government leaders (Lord KNOWS those ding dongs need our prayers), my Pastor and our church leaders. Half the time I don’t even think to pray for my own kids and my husband! It’s not like God seems extremely far off, I just seem to be struggling to maintain our relationship. I know I need Him more than ever and that I can trust Him to see us through. I KNOW He is FAITHFUL – how many, many times He’s shown me that He is.

So, here I sit late at night – desperately in need of some sleep since we’re taking Kristen swimming tomorrow as a pre-birthday afternoon off from school. But I need to make a thorough list and grocery shop in the morning.  The 6 o’clock will come way too soon and the coffee won’t be strong enough, I’m sure.  On the other hand – if I encourage myself in the Lord – I WILL get plenty of restful sleep.  I WILL get all things accomplished tomorrow and I WILL place my cares on Him because He cares for me!

I find my mind returning over and over to Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am meek and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Lord, help me to rest and to trust.

That’s What’s Reflecting on the Pond tonight.

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