So maybe my day didn’t start the way I’d have liked. And maybe it didn’t go quite according to plan. But giving me away for FREE on craigslist? Am I really that bad?? Or just a little goof-ball?
I came out of the Christmas Shop last night (I can’t WAIT to share my homemade Christmas cards!) and the men announced that Lexi had thrown up. “Well, what did you do about it?” “Dad was here!” “Kurt was here!” “What did you DO about it?” “Nothing.” Grrrrrrrr!! So, I cleaned up the doggie barf. It didn’t look like the usual barf, it looked like poop. Early this morning (before 6 o’clock) I heard the doggie bells. Groan. I don’t want to get up this early. Faint bells . . . back to La La Land. I rolled down the stairs at 6:40, let the dogs out, walked past the piano to check the temperature and with the flip of a light switch I found doggie poop ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!! I got a phone call Sunday night that we ARE having company this year for the Family Thanksgiving in Ohio. I now have my all ready doggie soiled carpet even MORE soiled with doggie stains. “This is a joke, right?” “This can NOT be happening.”
Figuring that it was Lexi and knowing to withhold food and water for 24 hours, I fed Luke and cleaned up the carpet mess. I soaked as many spots as I could with carpet cleaner and decided to get the Woolite stuff while I was out later for Thanksgiving things. Lexi didn’t even realize that I didn’t feed her. She threw up twice more and wanted outside about 50 times.
When the sun came up I saw that the barn door was wide open – had been all night. Well, young man that had been sent out to lock up the chickens and close up the barn, what part of “close up the barn” didn’t register? Kristen and I went out to feed around 8 (I know a little late, but we were planning strategy for today’s cleaning jobs) and what did she discover? Not only was the barn door open all night, the lid had been off the tub of chicken feed. Guess who had herself a high protein feast? And then deposited that feast all over my poor, pathetic carpet? Someone was in hot water and by the time I got to him and ran through all of the “what if” scenarios, young man was in tears.
At least we knew what she got into, but it didn’t help the state of my carpet. I went to do the grocery store run, got home, was eating lunch and realized that I had never gotten the carpet cleaner – “this is a joke right?”
Deciding that cleaning up the schoolroom was the next item on my list of things I didn’t really want to do (I cleaned my bathroom and dusted my bedroom yesterday – I felt ready to conquer the world, until the dog crapped all over the floor this morning), so I started checking schoolwork and sat down to do English with Kristen and then a spelling test. I guess I had reached the stage of near hysteria, or maybe I was feeling punchy from the salty chips I had with lunch, but I lost it. Goof ball city erupted from Mom, complete with sound effects (crazy voices). “Mom, I’m going to advertise you for free on craigslist!” “I can’t help it! There’s too much pain in this English lesson! I can’t take it!!!!.” “MOM!!”
I did manage to recover myself enough to give the spelling test (poor child is a terrible speller) and we moved on to dusting the kitchen, yelling at Kurt to do the cleaning I told him to not the cleaning he thought needed doing. And then off we went to the barn to help feed the horses. We did okay. I threw the hay over the stall wall (laughed at Kristen when it missed; she laughed at me when I hadn’t even thrown it yet and it fell) and sure enough, I got hay in my undergarment. :p And we’re on the way home to eat supper and continue the living room dusting before MARVEL Agents of Shield comes on tonight. We’re talking about the sleeping arrangements with company and Kurt usually bunks in our room, but we were deciding who got the warmest sleeping bags and Kristen said, “Kurt can use the rattly one that makes noise every time he moves.” But what did the Mom actually hear? “Kurt can use the rattly one that makes noise every time he poops.” “Every time he poops?” “Mom, I said every time he MOVES! That does it, I’m giving you away for free on craigslist!!”
Free for Thanksgiving, one wacky Mom. She’s all there (mostly) but tends to forget herself when she gets stressed. Stress results in goof ball antics, crazy cartoonish voices and general silliness. She’ll be a very entertaining addition to your family Thanksgiving. She’s a good cook too.
And That’s What’s Happening on the Hobby Farm.