As I was scurrying through life yesterday doing laundry, making bread, cutting a pile of old t-shirts into rags (they had cluttered my bedroom and then my laundry room long enough!), and thinking about the school I needed to do with Kurt and things I needed to check for Kristen, and the 1st quarter grades I needed to get together, I realized that I had bought a lie.
The lie that “you can have it all” really is a lie. And honestly, if we had it all, would we even want it all? You can’t have it. Choices have to be made. Paths diverge in life and you have to take one or the other. Getting lost in the wilderness between paths only leads to confusion and guilt. You’re not really sure which path you belong on (or which one is more important) and running between the two leads to neither path being as fulfilling as it could and should have been. I made my choice of which path to follow and I’ve never regretted it. I’m doing what I wanted to do.
The opposite of “you can have it all” is the lie that “you can’t DO it all.” Hmmm. I’ve listened to that one. That one has led me down the slow path to depression. I felt so overwhelmed by everything I couldn’t do. “You can’t homeschool your kids AND keep your house clean AND cook for your family, too.” “Something has to give.” “You have to take time for yourself and just let things go.” “You can’t garden and raise animals and can and bake . . . . .” And the list of “you can’ts” goes on and on.
And as the lie built inside of me, it started coming out of my mouth!
“I’m too tired. I’ll do it later, tomorrow, never.”
“I just don’t have the energy.”
“I’m so tired of this. I just want to be their Mom.”
“I can do school or I can be Mom . . . I can’t do both.”
Wait a minute! Who says I can’t? I’ve been so caught up believing the lie that “I can’t” that I quit even TRYING to do SOMETHING! I gave in to lazy and undisciplined under the guise of “I can’t do everything.”
But I chose this life. I desired this life. I asked for this life. Granted, I jumped into parenthood, homeschooling and hobby farming completely unprepared for reality, but it’s still what I want to do. By buying the lie, I totally ignored the Source of my strength.
“I can do all things through Christ who give me strength.” (Phil. 4:13)
“He who began a good work in you will complete it until the Day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6)
“My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19)
HE called me to be a Mom.
HE called me to teach my children at home.
HE placed in my selfish heart the desire for the farm and the animals and a garden and orchard.
HE gave me the desire to feed my family well.
And if HE brought me to it, HE will see me through it. HE will sustain me in my infirmity (tiredness, weakness and lack of energy).
My Source, my Strength, my Energy, my Life. And He’s not a cosmic force watching from afar. HE LOVES ME! He’s right here beside me folding clothes, washing dishes, baking bread, readings books, sweeping floors and cleaning stalls! I’m free in Him to be me and I can DO IT ALL because HE says I can. “Whatsoever you do shall prosper.” (Ps. 1:3b) I have HIS word on it!
And yesterday I got the school done, the laundry started, the food cooked, the floor swept, the bread made and still had time to paint the chalkboards on the pantry door (DIMS Day!) and the energy for church in the evening!
It’s all in my perspective: believing the lie or believing the truth.
And That’s What’s Reflecting on the Pond.