Psalm 27:4 "One thing have I desired; that will I seek after. That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."

Trying to Let Go

I’m sitting here at 11:30pm trying to let go of all of the “stuff” on my mind – not to mention suffering some heartburn from a wonderful pork chop dinner.

We were at our local resale shop today and I overheard that they might need some help which got me thinking that maybe it would help us get some bills paid if I got a part-time job. Maybe two days a week. I emailed my Mom and a couple of trusted friends to pray for me over the next week and as soon as I hit “send” I started looking at all of the reasons I shouldn’t. I’m supposed to be homeschooling my kids! I know that a lot of homeschool families have a Mom that works, so it is doable. The girls immediately freak out about how much other stuff I have to do (um, when’s the last time I actually DID dust the house?) I started looking at dr. appts. & orthodontist appts. and how would I stay on top of things?  Would it overwhelm me now that I’m starting to have more energy and am feeling better?  Would it be more trouble then anticipated – like Lexi?  (Oh, I love that dog, but she is a disobedient handful!  And she barks the world awake in the morning talking to her echo – we have the neighborhood nuisance dog).

So, needless to say, I’ve put myself in some turmoil and I haven’t even turned in an application!

And I’ve really been struggling lately to have my quiet time and have it be of any quality. I sit down and read and try to pray for family and friends that are sick or have a special need. More times than not, my circle of prayer stops there and I don’t spend any time praying for persecuted Christians, our soldiers involved in wars in the Middle East, our government leaders (Lord KNOWS those ding dongs need our prayers), my Pastor and our church leaders. Half the time I don’t even think to pray for my own kids and my husband! It’s not like God seems extremely far off, I just seem to be struggling to maintain our relationship. I know I need Him more than ever and that I can trust Him to see us through. I KNOW He is FAITHFUL – how many, many times He’s shown me that He is.

So, here I sit late at night – desperately in need of some sleep since we’re taking Kristen swimming tomorrow as a pre-birthday afternoon off from school. But I need to make a thorough list and grocery shop in the morning.  The 6 o’clock will come way too soon and the coffee won’t be strong enough, I’m sure.  On the other hand – if I encourage myself in the Lord – I WILL get plenty of restful sleep.  I WILL get all things accomplished tomorrow and I WILL place my cares on Him because He cares for me!

I find my mind returning over and over to Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am meek and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Lord, help me to rest and to trust.

That’s What’s Reflecting on the Pond tonight.

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